Why chess is more satisfying than sex

Friday, June 12, 2009



Frank 'Boy' Pestaño
Chessmoso

SEX is always big news, more so if it is controversial. The public loves it and even feeds on it.

The recent Hayden Kho-Katrina Halili-Vicki Belo drama has been dominating the local news on radio, TV and print media and Chessmoso would like to add humor to this titillating episode.


In Buenos Aires in 1960, the young Bobby Fischer, then almost 17, lost his virginity to a lady commissioned for the occasion by Larry Evans. Asked the next day what he thought of the experience, Fischer said, “Chess is better!”

Here are good reasons why Fischer is right. I believe, though, that Nicnic Climaco,Jun Olis, Alex Tolentino, Manny Manzanares and Tata Morelos will disagree with Bobby and rightly so.

Taking a video of a chess game is allowed and can be uploaded on the Internet without any problem. You will never be questioned by the NBI and you will be famous, not notorious.

It’s not necessary to text your opponent in order to play.

A good game can last seven hours or more and be enjoyed any time without stopping.

As soon as you finish a game, you’re ready for another one.

There are millions of mating positions. Always NEW!

You can play chess on the Internet and find new partners anytime you like.

You can’t catch a disease from chess. The worse that can happen to you from sitting for too long is a sore rump (Though some might say chess is a disease).

You don’t have to send chocolates or roses to your partner before they agree to play.

Children, even as young as five or six years old, can play chess well. In sex, you will go to prison as a pedophile.

You can perform for a long time and still play chess well in old age. You can play chess in your 70s, 80s, 90s, (and perform very well for a long strong time).

Ugly players still get to mate and don’t put you off your game.

Good players can take on hundreds of opponents at once.

You usually know what your next move should be in chess.

You can drink, smoke, and play chess simultaneously.

In chess, the kings and queens can directly mix.

No one ever complains that you’re moving too fast.

In chess short games are highly valued.

In chess your opponent has to make a move after your move.

Misplacing your pieces on a chessboard is inconvenient; in the bedroom, it may be illegal.

You don’t have to kiss or hug your opponent after a game.

In chess, a quickie is often more satisfying than a long game.

You can play chess with your clothes on. And in public too.

Size does not matter. Most players are satisfied with average chess boards.

No one objects if you want to play chess with people of the same gender.

Chess players usually don’t object if you want to play someone else. Group play is even better, hotter and more interesting.

Pieces get swapped much faster.

With chess, a straight guy can cavort with queens or badly misplaced bishops and no one raises an eyebrow or objects!

Sometimes youth is better at it than older experienced chess players, shakers and movers.

You know what your next move should be in chess (guessing in the bedroom is dangerous and not recommended).

In chess, miniatures are highly-valued, expensive and hard to come by.

Speaking about love, I wrote an article last year about the beautiful and sexy chess players of today and one of them was the photogenic Natalia Pogonina (23) who plays as good as she looks with a rating of over 2500. She can compete with the twin tennis beauties Maria Shaparova and Ana Ivanovic in both looks and talent anytime!

She met Peter Zhdanov(23) at the 2008 Tal Memorial. They played some blitz games and a mutual attraction blossomed.

This became love and led to a marriage just recently between the two young Russian chess players. Congrats from Chessmoso!